Today is the day I didn't want to come... how can someone be happy when this things happen?
Ok... for ur info... tonight is grad night... me and my classmates are getting those wanted diplomas that certify we concluded successfully high school... and that we are know heading towards the adventure of college.
U most believe i'm crazy for not wanting this to happen.... well, i am certain that way in the bottom of my heart i'm happy that this journey comes to an end tonight, however... things are not going to be like i would have wanted... i dreamed of this day for years... i knew that it will come and that things would be great.... i believed that every person i cared of would be there... from my own friends... those who r also my classmates, would be there, not just happy for me, but also with the same happiness for themselves... cause they, in my dreams, would be graduating also.... and of course those friends who r not my classmates would be there... that ppl i have come to know in this years, everybody and special, that person that i love the most had to be there.... (my girlfriend)
However... things tonight won't be that way.... cause my own best friend, won't graduate... i don't even know if he'll be there at all... cause he didn't make it.... maybe kind of my fault... cause i got a hundred(highest of grades) in that very test he flunked... i mean... maybe i could have help him... perhaps if i just tried to know that he wasn't well prepared.. i could have help him... maybe i didn't pay enough attention.... maybe i am not such a good friend after all and cause of that, everything su.cks... we won't be the E.vil 4 for this day... will just be 3 out of 4...
To make things worse.... do you remember where my girlfriend is???... Oh right! she's at the beach.... having fun... taking the sun... with her family... many kms away from me.... and she's not here... when i stand up this night to go for my diploma... she won't see me... she would be so far away that everything will have no sense.... she won't be there to congrat me... she won't be there to stare at me and say: "Oh my God! he made it!..."... i won't be getting a kiss... not even a glance of her smile... i will have just a little and completly meaningless paper with my name on it...
To my best friend.... what do i have to say?.....: I'm sorry, i really am... i don't know what failed... i don't know if u r ok with me being such a selfish friend that didn't realized u needed my help... i don't know if u'll be mad... or if u'll forgive... i don't really know if u'll understand why i'm feeling this guilty.... i really don't know... i can just offer u my help... for ur comming things... what ever u need from me u'll get it..... that's for sure...
To my princess.....: u know how much i feared this day... and the day i feared so much.... arrived in a rush... arrived so fast... and your distance feels so bad... my love... i don't know how i'll survive this day without u... i miss u, honey... i don't know what will happen tonight... i really don't know how it will all happen.... but i know u won't be there... and it hurts... cause i love u... cause i always pictured this day with everyone around me... cause u r the only person i wanna hug tonight after the ceremony.... i love u... u know it...
And that's it.... tonight will come... no matter what... i guess i have to comfront it.... with whatever strenght i have...
≈Depressed me≈
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