The world is full with details.....
And details rule the world....
The power is in your hands!
To do for others a special day.
The best person isn't the smartest one,
The best person isn't the funniest one,
not the great, not the tall,
not the strong, not the rich....
The best person is you,
if you just smile a little.....
if you just make others laugh....
if you just take some time to change someone else life.
The world is ruled by Little Details......
love,
a hug, a smile, just a happy girl.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Cold hearted poet
I used to be a poet....
I used to know how to bring all this feelings into words.
Does that mean i used to know myself deeply? I guess not... and if i did.... that has come to an end....
What happens when you haven't felt romantic love in months...? what happens when you don't know who you would like to be with you the rest of your life? does deception after deception bring you to a dead end where you are no longer romantic? have i became cold hearted? Does this means that now i'm just this idiotic fool who doesn't care if he hurts a woman? what happened to all that romantisism in me?
No.... i am no longer a romantic guy... i just feel atracted to women.... i like them, i like to watch them move, i like to talk to them for hours.....but no feelings involved.... just playing nice.... if i get to that point where i become aware a girl i like doesn't like me back... i just back off... forget everything.... cold hearted.... unable to fight for what i want.... unable to wish for things when they are no longer easy... when the time comes to get serious, to stop the game of just flirting a little... when the time comes where the next move is to get your feelings involved.... i am no longer that poet.... i no longer feel the need to rush for a girl... i just stop worrying... and think of something else... or maybe someone else....
And maybe the right girl hasn't come... but maybe again i am just blocking myself... not letting them be the right girl for me... they can be perfect... but i find them something wrong... my feelings are exactly that elusive....
Maybe i should stop... maybe i should try to go back in time... remember what it is like to have a girlfriend.... and get the subjective look at it... where everything is a gain... instead of looking at it the way i am doing right now... when having a gf is just about loosing money and time....
I want to be a poet again... i want to feel alive... i want to feel free from this cold heart.... i want to feel again... i want to love....
I used to know how to bring all this feelings into words.
Does that mean i used to know myself deeply? I guess not... and if i did.... that has come to an end....
What happens when you haven't felt romantic love in months...? what happens when you don't know who you would like to be with you the rest of your life? does deception after deception bring you to a dead end where you are no longer romantic? have i became cold hearted? Does this means that now i'm just this idiotic fool who doesn't care if he hurts a woman? what happened to all that romantisism in me?
No.... i am no longer a romantic guy... i just feel atracted to women.... i like them, i like to watch them move, i like to talk to them for hours.....but no feelings involved.... just playing nice.... if i get to that point where i become aware a girl i like doesn't like me back... i just back off... forget everything.... cold hearted.... unable to fight for what i want.... unable to wish for things when they are no longer easy... when the time comes to get serious, to stop the game of just flirting a little... when the time comes where the next move is to get your feelings involved.... i am no longer that poet.... i no longer feel the need to rush for a girl... i just stop worrying... and think of something else... or maybe someone else....
And maybe the right girl hasn't come... but maybe again i am just blocking myself... not letting them be the right girl for me... they can be perfect... but i find them something wrong... my feelings are exactly that elusive....
Maybe i should stop... maybe i should try to go back in time... remember what it is like to have a girlfriend.... and get the subjective look at it... where everything is a gain... instead of looking at it the way i am doing right now... when having a gf is just about loosing money and time....
I want to be a poet again... i want to feel alive... i want to feel free from this cold heart.... i want to feel again... i want to love....
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Time of uneasiness
These days have being weird.... again! yeah! time has passed and i am in the worst part of my semester... two weeks and i should be in vacation.... wohoo... but things aren't going as well as i wanted... things have get depressing... problems with assignements and everything... nothing has being easy...
As the problems arrise i feel the need to have someone there... i want to have a shoulder to cry... someone to hear how things are going... and i know i got my friends... they will hear me if i need to... but its not the same.. i need support differently.. that support you only have when someone cares really much about you... i need someone there... and .... i have noone to fill that space... i sometimes go to Alicia.... but she is a little freaked out since i told her i have had this kind of feelings for her in the past... and i don't have them right now... and won't have them if God helps me... but things have being akward with her... but my mind keeps bringing memories from sometime ago... memories when someone made me happy... when someone was there to hear my frustrations.. to make me feel ok again.... when that someone was able to destroy any problem with just one perfect kiss... and i dreamed with that kiss.. it was tender... soft... completely innocent... like those you give only when tou really love the other person.. i dreamed with it... it was perfect.... again... with her... and this has me in a thougher spot yet... cause i know how impossible is to get that back... i won't have again.. and in my dream she reminded that to me... she told me she kissed me cause she wanted to know if she had still feelings for me... and even when she found she do.... nothing will change cause of her boyfriend.... yep... even my dream... with the perfect kiss.. wasn't that perfect... it was real..i think i felt her lips again... crossing with mine.... i swear i felt it.... like i am not feeling it ever again..... i just hope i can find happiness someday... i just hope for things to come right for me soon.... i just have a little bit of hope....
Hope
As the problems arrise i feel the need to have someone there... i want to have a shoulder to cry... someone to hear how things are going... and i know i got my friends... they will hear me if i need to... but its not the same.. i need support differently.. that support you only have when someone cares really much about you... i need someone there... and .... i have noone to fill that space... i sometimes go to Alicia.... but she is a little freaked out since i told her i have had this kind of feelings for her in the past... and i don't have them right now... and won't have them if God helps me... but things have being akward with her... but my mind keeps bringing memories from sometime ago... memories when someone made me happy... when someone was there to hear my frustrations.. to make me feel ok again.... when that someone was able to destroy any problem with just one perfect kiss... and i dreamed with that kiss.. it was tender... soft... completely innocent... like those you give only when tou really love the other person.. i dreamed with it... it was perfect.... again... with her... and this has me in a thougher spot yet... cause i know how impossible is to get that back... i won't have again.. and in my dream she reminded that to me... she told me she kissed me cause she wanted to know if she had still feelings for me... and even when she found she do.... nothing will change cause of her boyfriend.... yep... even my dream... with the perfect kiss.. wasn't that perfect... it was real..i think i felt her lips again... crossing with mine.... i swear i felt it.... like i am not feeling it ever again..... i just hope i can find happiness someday... i just hope for things to come right for me soon.... i just have a little bit of hope....
Hope
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Things have indeed get better... today someone asked me if i had blogged lately... and i remembered my last post.... Wow.. when i entered my blog... i couldn't remember how i got so down... i was hurt indeed.... nothing seemed to be coming the right way.....
My test the day after that was okay... i think i got a good grade... even when my teacher managed to have one quarter of the test to be practically unsolvable....
Things with Oscar and María are now alright.... they are right for each other i guess...and apparently their relationship haven't changed the group's friendship yet... so things are alright....
My best female friend is still in a bad spot, emotionally speaking.... but she'll get over it... i'm doing my best to help her out.... also i realized i was just sick of guys being mean to her... and there came all those feelings towards her,.... but they really don't exist... just a illusion provoked by a very bad timed situation...
Days have passed... I am again me.... more confident.... more happy.... i had an emotional crisis some days ago... with my ex.... Arianna... but things are ok... nothing happened.... just a spark of yesterday's ligth came to me.... i remembered how happy i used to be.... and how i haven't being that happy in a long time.... in the end... everything got me just to one conclusion... i need that happiness.... i need to find someone that make me smile in that way.... and now i am searching... trying not to forget... but trying to get something like that... not with her obviously... cause that would be impossible.... (Well that's a little bit contradictory with my title... i guess once more i find in my way somethings that are just meant to be impossible.... and they are better off that way...)...
I am just happy now... waiting... for the right place, the right time... and specially for the right girl to come up...
Beren
My test the day after that was okay... i think i got a good grade... even when my teacher managed to have one quarter of the test to be practically unsolvable....
Things with Oscar and María are now alright.... they are right for each other i guess...and apparently their relationship haven't changed the group's friendship yet... so things are alright....
My best female friend is still in a bad spot, emotionally speaking.... but she'll get over it... i'm doing my best to help her out.... also i realized i was just sick of guys being mean to her... and there came all those feelings towards her,.... but they really don't exist... just a illusion provoked by a very bad timed situation...
Days have passed... I am again me.... more confident.... more happy.... i had an emotional crisis some days ago... with my ex.... Arianna... but things are ok... nothing happened.... just a spark of yesterday's ligth came to me.... i remembered how happy i used to be.... and how i haven't being that happy in a long time.... in the end... everything got me just to one conclusion... i need that happiness.... i need to find someone that make me smile in that way.... and now i am searching... trying not to forget... but trying to get something like that... not with her obviously... cause that would be impossible.... (Well that's a little bit contradictory with my title... i guess once more i find in my way somethings that are just meant to be impossible.... and they are better off that way...)...
I am just happy now... waiting... for the right place, the right time... and specially for the right girl to come up...
Beren
Friday, May 12, 2006
Here i am, the night is dark today... the world is still spinining without any destination... just as i feel my life is.... The question tonight is where am i heading? The question is why does everything around me affects me so much?....
My world today is getting so complex.. so many things are happening....
Today my day started with one of my best friends telling me how he was no longer with his girlfriend... the one he met in highschool... the one that had being with him the past two years... i know this girl well, i consider her one of those ppl from high school i cared for... and now i will probably know little from her.... it will probably be painful for her to be around me... her ex's woek partner.... too many conections...
i hope she finds her way... she deserves the best... even though i don't know what that is....
Well after this exhuberant news.... well now Oscar is with María.... wow... that was fast.... i used to have kind of feelings for that girl too.... well... luckily i always knew it was more than platonic... wouldn't have happen.... that makes me able to be happy for them.... two of my best friends together.... kind of nice....
Well, that reminded me what happened a year from now.... i broke up with the girl that probably have meant the most to me in my whole life.... the only one that got me really depressed... i was so unhappy... she used to be my best friend... well not know... we barely talk when necessary... or sometimes a little bit more....
Oh well the day continued... well... and i learned just another failure in one of those ppl you idolice.... you think of someone as perfect.... just to come to realize that he or she was just as human as you are... and probably more.... same failures... same conflicts.... same weakness.... and life seems so pointless.....
Ok... time for my best female friend to confess some stuff to me came just a short while after... why are things that way? mmm... i really can't imagine how can this affect me.... am i having feelings for her and that's why this news crushed so badly into my hear?... i hope not... i hope is just me feeling worried of her being hurt.....
the world moved just a little more inches.... and i chated to my friend's ex.... it was so hard for me to read her lines... well i guess... i am really sad for that break up after all....
And when you guess there's nothing that could make me feel more depressed... i realize my father is with a vesicle problem and will have to spend this weekend in the hospital.... well... he's definitevely not my favorite person... but still he is my father....
Well... that's it... my world,,, spining... and even though it goes on... everything seems motionless.... lifeless.... and even with this lack of motion....tomorrow's test is getting more near each second... i guess i should go study... bye
Turin Turambar
My world today is getting so complex.. so many things are happening....
Today my day started with one of my best friends telling me how he was no longer with his girlfriend... the one he met in highschool... the one that had being with him the past two years... i know this girl well, i consider her one of those ppl from high school i cared for... and now i will probably know little from her.... it will probably be painful for her to be around me... her ex's woek partner.... too many conections...
i hope she finds her way... she deserves the best... even though i don't know what that is....
Well after this exhuberant news.... well now Oscar is with María.... wow... that was fast.... i used to have kind of feelings for that girl too.... well... luckily i always knew it was more than platonic... wouldn't have happen.... that makes me able to be happy for them.... two of my best friends together.... kind of nice....
Well, that reminded me what happened a year from now.... i broke up with the girl that probably have meant the most to me in my whole life.... the only one that got me really depressed... i was so unhappy... she used to be my best friend... well not know... we barely talk when necessary... or sometimes a little bit more....
Oh well the day continued... well... and i learned just another failure in one of those ppl you idolice.... you think of someone as perfect.... just to come to realize that he or she was just as human as you are... and probably more.... same failures... same conflicts.... same weakness.... and life seems so pointless.....
Ok... time for my best female friend to confess some stuff to me came just a short while after... why are things that way? mmm... i really can't imagine how can this affect me.... am i having feelings for her and that's why this news crushed so badly into my hear?... i hope not... i hope is just me feeling worried of her being hurt.....
the world moved just a little more inches.... and i chated to my friend's ex.... it was so hard for me to read her lines... well i guess... i am really sad for that break up after all....
And when you guess there's nothing that could make me feel more depressed... i realize my father is with a vesicle problem and will have to spend this weekend in the hospital.... well... he's definitevely not my favorite person... but still he is my father....
Well... that's it... my world,,, spining... and even though it goes on... everything seems motionless.... lifeless.... and even with this lack of motion....tomorrow's test is getting more near each second... i guess i should go study... bye
Turin Turambar
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Temptation
Temptation is always present.
The world will always try to make you do things you are not supposed to do... and they look so good... tasty... temptation can come from the simplest to the worst. Just a chocolate when you are on a diet... or the temptation to sit all day in front of your computer just to chat... also temptation to go and sleep just the day before a big test or the day before the due date of your final project...
Also there are big temptations... temptations you don't want to risk... like being having an affair.. or just having sex for pleassure... or going to a motel with your gf... you know... i haven't felt much of those... but i know they will be there someday...
The fact is that there are in life moments in which you know the world has to be kidding you... that the circumstances can't be just this perfect for you to make such a tempting and horrible mistake...
Why are we tempted? Is God just playing with us? just looking at us fall and fall... and laughing His ass at us... just because we are weak and continue falling? we are not just weak, but incredibly recursive (yeah! computacional talk... but what the heck i should accept i am a geek)... we go on and on... same mistakes once and again.
Temptation is a bitch.... you know it's gonna be a mistake... and it will cause only trouble... but at the same time you know it would feel so good to do it... with out problems in your consience...
Yep we are tempted each day... as we walk... as we eat... as we hang with our friends... as we drink... as we breath... each second comes with temptation... and each temptation is a prove on how strong we are....
i guess i am not as strong as i thought....
≈Tempted≈
The world will always try to make you do things you are not supposed to do... and they look so good... tasty... temptation can come from the simplest to the worst. Just a chocolate when you are on a diet... or the temptation to sit all day in front of your computer just to chat... also temptation to go and sleep just the day before a big test or the day before the due date of your final project...
Also there are big temptations... temptations you don't want to risk... like being having an affair.. or just having sex for pleassure... or going to a motel with your gf... you know... i haven't felt much of those... but i know they will be there someday...
The fact is that there are in life moments in which you know the world has to be kidding you... that the circumstances can't be just this perfect for you to make such a tempting and horrible mistake...
Why are we tempted? Is God just playing with us? just looking at us fall and fall... and laughing His ass at us... just because we are weak and continue falling? we are not just weak, but incredibly recursive (yeah! computacional talk... but what the heck i should accept i am a geek)... we go on and on... same mistakes once and again.
Temptation is a bitch.... you know it's gonna be a mistake... and it will cause only trouble... but at the same time you know it would feel so good to do it... with out problems in your consience...
Yep we are tempted each day... as we walk... as we eat... as we hang with our friends... as we drink... as we breath... each second comes with temptation... and each temptation is a prove on how strong we are....
i guess i am not as strong as i thought....
≈Tempted≈
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