Things have indeed get better... today someone asked me if i had blogged lately... and i remembered my last post.... Wow.. when i entered my blog... i couldn't remember how i got so down... i was hurt indeed.... nothing seemed to be coming the right way.....

My test the day after that was okay... i think i got a good grade... even when my teacher managed to have one quarter of the test to be practically unsolvable....

Things with Oscar and María are now alright.... they are right for each other i guess...and apparently their relationship haven't changed the group's friendship yet... so things are alright....

My best female friend is still in a bad spot, emotionally speaking.... but she'll get over it... i'm doing my best to help her out.... also i realized i was just sick of guys being mean to her... and there came all those feelings towards her,.... but they really don't exist... just a illusion provoked by a very bad timed situation...

Days have passed... I am again me.... more confident.... more happy.... i had an emotional crisis some days ago... with my ex.... Arianna... but things are ok... nothing happened.... just a spark of yesterday's ligth came to me.... i remembered how happy i used to be.... and how i haven't being that happy in a long time.... in the end... everything got me just to one conclusion... i need that happiness.... i need to find someone that make me smile in that way.... and now i am searching... trying not to forget... but trying to get something like that... not with her obviously... cause that would be impossible.... (Well that's a little bit contradictory with my title... i guess once more i find in my way somethings that are just meant to be impossible.... and they are better off that way...)...

I am just happy now... waiting... for the right place, the right time... and specially for the right girl to come up...

Beren

Here i am, the night is dark today... the world is still spinining without any destination... just as i feel my life is.... The question tonight is where am i heading? The question is why does everything around me affects me so much?....

My world today is getting so complex.. so many things are happening....

Today my day started with one of my best friends telling me how he was no longer with his girlfriend... the one he met in highschool... the one that had being with him the past two years... i know this girl well, i consider her one of those ppl from high school i cared for... and now i will probably know little from her.... it will probably be painful for her to be around me... her ex's woek partner.... too many conections...

i hope she finds her way... she deserves the best... even though i don't know what that is....

Well after this exhuberant news.... well now Oscar is with María.... wow... that was fast.... i used to have kind of feelings for that girl too.... well... luckily i always knew it was more than platonic... wouldn't have happen.... that makes me able to be happy for them.... two of my best friends together.... kind of nice....

Well, that reminded me what happened a year from now.... i broke up with the girl that probably have meant the most to me in my whole life.... the only one that got me really depressed... i was so unhappy... she used to be my best friend... well not know... we barely talk when necessary... or sometimes a little bit more....

Oh well the day continued... well... and i learned just another failure in one of those ppl you idolice.... you think of someone as perfect.... just to come to realize that he or she was just as human as you are... and probably more.... same failures... same conflicts.... same weakness.... and life seems so pointless.....

Ok... time for my best female friend to confess some stuff to me came just a short while after... why are things that way? mmm... i really can't imagine how can this affect me.... am i having feelings for her and that's why this news crushed so badly into my hear?... i hope not... i hope is just me feeling worried of her being hurt.....

the world moved just a little more inches.... and i chated to my friend's ex.... it was so hard for me to read her lines... well i guess... i am really sad for that break up after all....

And when you guess there's nothing that could make me feel more depressed... i realize my father is with a vesicle problem and will have to spend this weekend in the hospital.... well... he's definitevely not my favorite person... but still he is my father....

Well... that's it... my world,,, spining... and even though it goes on... everything seems motionless.... lifeless.... and even with this lack of motion....tomorrow's test is getting more near each second... i guess i should go study... bye

Turin Turambar