Have u ever got the feeling that someone does something that in every aspect affects u in a bad way.... but when that person expresses why (s)he did it.... u r not able to get mad with him/her because he had good intentions but failed in achieving them? I'm like that now... ppl i have trusted my whole life... ppl i thought would never do something to harm me... now i feel things for what i should a film maraton my bro and i organized would not be the same.... i guess if i really want the maraton to happen i got to live with it... that the way life is....
i don't expect anyone to understand this post....
≈Disappointed≈
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Math and Writing are not to be combined...
Ok.... some of the ones reading knowing me extremely well will notice that i couldn't have written this at the date it says it was written... actually i decided to put the date of the first time i came up with the idea.... imagine the picture... me... coming out from the my second math test of four hours and a half.... the first had been the day before.... my mind? actually there was no mind... i am pretty sure of that....
Six problems.... i got to the answer in two of them... however.... just in one of them i am sure i got all the points... the other one.... i just found the answer.... but couldn't demonstrate it correctly.... 9 hours in six problems... what a waste of time....
However as i am coming out from that damned place door... i feel like if a burdain that had being in my back for three years, was removed by someone who had the most terrifying face of disappointment i have ever seen... feeling bad i start thinking i should write something in my blog.... writting is something i kind of like even when i sometimes have trouble finding words that express my feelings and i can become really picky in that way...
As i was thinking on exactly what to write.... i knew that no matter what i do... math will come up to collation.... it was just the only way things could happen.... but i tried to find a really good topic... i didn't wanted this to be the corner where i could repress all my desperate failure feelings.... i just wanted something right.... something i could be proud of....
However then i realized something.... math is a really weird and sucky topic.... and i don't care if half my life i have spend it thinking that math rules.... it should never be combined with critical writting... when u come out from a test ur mind is so really squeezed that u'll never find the right words.... actually my talking after a test is mostly monosyllabical!!!! it sounds weird but its kind of true... too long words come to be difficult to use... and explaining "your solutions" to the other ppl seems imposible! if i am explaining that i drawed a parallel line to the segment AB(just an example) i'll be saying: "and i drew a.... line..... it was... similar to AB... but a little lower...." i really mean it.... making things to have sense is so but so hard at those times...
My conclusion.... i'll never again think what to write after one of those tests.... my really awfull mood at those times plus my own mind totally shocked by the extensive math frustratuion make writing imposible..... and after all.... it could end up in many posts as ilogic as this one....
≈Shocked≈
I'm so happy i waited till now(Sunday 16th, 10pm, for those wondering) to write this because now ideas seem to make sense and actually the post don't seem bad at all.... in the end... i am proud of it.... contradictory? maybe.... but i really don't care.....
Six problems.... i got to the answer in two of them... however.... just in one of them i am sure i got all the points... the other one.... i just found the answer.... but couldn't demonstrate it correctly.... 9 hours in six problems... what a waste of time....
However as i am coming out from that damned place door... i feel like if a burdain that had being in my back for three years, was removed by someone who had the most terrifying face of disappointment i have ever seen... feeling bad i start thinking i should write something in my blog.... writting is something i kind of like even when i sometimes have trouble finding words that express my feelings and i can become really picky in that way...
As i was thinking on exactly what to write.... i knew that no matter what i do... math will come up to collation.... it was just the only way things could happen.... but i tried to find a really good topic... i didn't wanted this to be the corner where i could repress all my desperate failure feelings.... i just wanted something right.... something i could be proud of....
However then i realized something.... math is a really weird and sucky topic.... and i don't care if half my life i have spend it thinking that math rules.... it should never be combined with critical writting... when u come out from a test ur mind is so really squeezed that u'll never find the right words.... actually my talking after a test is mostly monosyllabical!!!! it sounds weird but its kind of true... too long words come to be difficult to use... and explaining "your solutions" to the other ppl seems imposible! if i am explaining that i drawed a parallel line to the segment AB(just an example) i'll be saying: "and i drew a.... line..... it was... similar to AB... but a little lower...." i really mean it.... making things to have sense is so but so hard at those times...
My conclusion.... i'll never again think what to write after one of those tests.... my really awfull mood at those times plus my own mind totally shocked by the extensive math frustratuion make writing imposible..... and after all.... it could end up in many posts as ilogic as this one....
≈Shocked≈
I'm so happy i waited till now(Sunday 16th, 10pm, for those wondering) to write this because now ideas seem to make sense and actually the post don't seem bad at all.... in the end... i am proud of it.... contradictory? maybe.... but i really don't care.....
Friday, January 14, 2005
Two months ago...
2 months ago my life changed.... things became diferent... i believe i didn't published the exact date that this happen... but now i am... the night of november 13th and dawn november 14th.... that was the period of time that i waited patiently, patiently searching for answer that will slip from her lips... maybe the sissing and perfect sound of an s (spanish for "yes" comes to be "sí") or the deafening sound of the negative n....
Those were some long hours.... u bet... trying to be happy in my prom.... trying to know if she was kissing for the right reasons, if in every kiss there was kind of an s included.... if there was more than that... or if i was falling into a terrible illusion...
Yep..... in the end.... when we sat down and talk..... i was burning inside... i wanted an answer... i knew it wasn't right...but i brought the conversation to the question again.... and as i saw her face thinking searching in her heart the answer, and she kissed me... Oh my God! that was a kiss! one of the best one's i ever received... and as it ended i heared the affirmative answer i was waiting for....
Two months have passed and it seem as if it was yesterday... every second we have spent together is something i have atreasured in my very heart... every thing she says has the capability of killing me and bringing me back to life... her lips have becomed my d.rug, her voice my happiness... her eyes the pool where i like to dive my feelings and my thoughts...
Ari: Two months... are not enough... i want to spend many more time with u... my whole life if posible... cause i love u... cause i can't stop thinking about u, i like u, i love u, i want to give u everything i am, i want to hug u, and kiss u.... i want to feel u near... at my side... i want to give up anything just for a second with u.... and i can only hope u feel the same way.... i hope you don't mind if in my own way i shout this to the world: I'm proud to be.....
≈Arianna's Boyfriend≈
Those were some long hours.... u bet... trying to be happy in my prom.... trying to know if she was kissing for the right reasons, if in every kiss there was kind of an s included.... if there was more than that... or if i was falling into a terrible illusion...
Yep..... in the end.... when we sat down and talk..... i was burning inside... i wanted an answer... i knew it wasn't right...but i brought the conversation to the question again.... and as i saw her face thinking searching in her heart the answer, and she kissed me... Oh my God! that was a kiss! one of the best one's i ever received... and as it ended i heared the affirmative answer i was waiting for....
Two months have passed and it seem as if it was yesterday... every second we have spent together is something i have atreasured in my very heart... every thing she says has the capability of killing me and bringing me back to life... her lips have becomed my d.rug, her voice my happiness... her eyes the pool where i like to dive my feelings and my thoughts...
Ari: Two months... are not enough... i want to spend many more time with u... my whole life if posible... cause i love u... cause i can't stop thinking about u, i like u, i love u, i want to give u everything i am, i want to hug u, and kiss u.... i want to feel u near... at my side... i want to give up anything just for a second with u.... and i can only hope u feel the same way.... i hope you don't mind if in my own way i shout this to the world: I'm proud to be.....
≈Arianna's Boyfriend≈
I beg pardon.....
I know i haven't written in a while... and maybe is just because i been kind of busy... i being atending to math clases.... in the clasiffication process to the International Mathematics Olympics of this year... i believe i won't go.... it too much of a difficult thing just to be trying.... i'll promise i'll be writting more often these days...
≈Tired me≈
≈Tired me≈
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