Competition

Its incredible when u think u must be one of the best in something… put it whatever u want…. And u walk forward with all your confidence just to find that doesn’t matter how good u r… there will always be someone better than u in that something…. Maybe they r better because of pure effort…. Maybe just because they r better. And u come to notice that this world is full of competition… and that u will never be that person that is known to be the best, the one and only best.

When u think of this maybe u’ll start thinking what the purpose of competing is… and maybe u’ll get to the conclusion that everything is indeed so s.ucky that there is no reason to continue…. And there comes that stu.pid phrase that u should only compete with urself… and some bunch of c…. more…

I know that i’ll never be the best… but i will never get to the point of feeling i should compete with myself… I don’t know how… but i’ll compete with those noticeably better than me… and I’ll make all my efforts to beat them… cause there is no point in not trying…. And cause i know that i can do it… i can beat them…. And i will!

When things end...

I'm getting kind of melancolic today.... it's kind of special... today was my last high school-style test... at least coming directly form my highschool, just some more coming next month that will decide weather or not thirteen years were worth it, but whatever... Things are concluding... someone told me once to enjoy this time, cause its going to be the best of my whole life... however... today i see how things are ending, and i come to think: "Did I really enjoyed this years to the point that they will be called eternally as the 'best ones' in my life?" In that case maybe my life will really su.ck from now on.... cause i really know i enjoyed them... i met many special ppl... my best friends... those who have supported all my decisions... some special g.irls that have made me feel special from time to time.... but i don't really know if i enoyed the whole situations of high school so much.

I just know one thing, and it is that maybe because of fear, maybe because i really enjoyed it, I don't really want things to end... not now at least.... however they r ending... i've got one more month, and that's it.... game over...

My purpose: Enjoy this month!!!! make it the best month in my life no matter what... enjoy this trip to the beach with high school ppl... enjoy the parties that will come... enojoy my last academic efforts... enjoy the company of my friends... so that i can remember this as the best days in my life... and so that experiencies to come can be good... but not as good as THIS month!!!

So, let's Enjoy!!!

Confusion...

It's being quite a while since the last time I wrote something, I guess I've being quite busy lately... But i'm back.... i hope nobody missed me :P....

Ok, so what is with the girl that used to be with u(u know what i mean....).... and comes to u after about a month of the eternal "let's try to be friends"-fight and says..."hey we need to talk about us"? What does that mean? Then... she says... "oh! I send u an e-mail(which didn't arrived by the way)... i've got to tell u something really important... but i couldn't write it..."

But that's not it.... she says: "Oh, it's something good, don't worry... but we can't talk today.... let's wait about a week..."

I mean... doesn't she understands that i'm getting kind of confused with her.... i still like her a lot... i mean... feelings doesn't go away... and what she says makes me think too much.... and in the end... i'm all confused once and again...

When courtesy tends to s.tupidity

Hey! Last night it was party night for me and my class. We went to this freezing place(i guess it was about 15ºC..... i am not able to make the convertion right now... so u guys do it.... quite a bad selection for that kind of party... but we couldn't ask more to the s.tupid guys that organized everything). Party was great for the first minutes.... everything was nice... cold beer, music and other stuff filled environment and we were having fun.... or at least most of us... it was then when I decided to leave the dancing part of the party to go and check what was happening in the other room. As I entered everything was clear... this was the section were the d.runken a.ssess were.... All that people I have never cared of... (or I have cared too little for it to matter) were in the most pathetic states of ethylic intoxication.

I got to admit that seeing some of these people in that state was fun... but seing some others wasn't... because maybe they were nice to me... or just because i knew them enough to know that they weren't happy to be seeing in that state... or just maybe cause I cared a little for them... or maybe more than a little...

Well, the point is that in the end... I had to help some of them.... and it was just because i felt to... well, one of these persons that moved me to help them was this g.irl, i guess i have only talked to her like five times in my whole life... but i really like her... well she was there... a little bit drunk, crying because of someone she really loves, and completely freezing because of her little non-sleved shirt. Then I came to think: "Hey! it would be nice for someone to give his sweater/jacket to her, since she really needs it more that most guys around here." D.amn! I was one of those guys who really didn't need it. Ok, it was clear: for pure courtesy i had to give her my jacket, and so I did.

WHAT IN THE BLUE H.ELL WAS I THINKING!!!!! I MEAN THAT PLACE WAS FREEZING, IT COULDN'T BE COLDER FOR THE PLACE WE WERE ON.

Right, sometime after that I saw she was alone.... I went to her.. I huged her to let her know I was trying to support her. Sometime after she realized she had my jacket and that even though I was freezing I was there with her. She asked for a friend of her to get her a blanket, and she gave me back my beloved jacket.

The whole point is that, why are we men just that s.tupid from time to time to give up things we need to somebody else? I mean... i am not saying it was wrong, or that it wasn't nice... or that I didn't felt good to be nice to her... but we got to admit it was kind of s.tupid

However... my own nature perdures... I'm the nice guy... the one that is "s.tupid" enough to give someone he cares of what they need even when it means he has to do a sacrifice for that.