A different Xmas

Here i am, things have changed... Xmas will come around the corner, bringing something diferent... i remember how it used to be... every year was exactly the same... equally special and full of a catholic meaning.

I feel like remembering those days where we celebrated Xmas on my grandmother's house(the mom of my mom)... we will gather all as a family in her living room... my family as always got there late... however we only found my grandmother making everything look perfect. She would have cooked our favorite dish, "pure de camote"... and she would have taked care of the meat... probably pork... and cramberry sauce.... some of my uncles will have brought coke and other drinks... we probably the dessert... my aunt, the salad(she is great in salads :P)... yep everything would have being ready for dinner... probably will have to wait for someone.. around an hour late... we will start... my grandmother will prepare all of her grandsons in a line... the younger ones in front... everyone of us... except for my brother who will be with my grandfather's guitar in the living room... the youngest of all my cousins will have the image of baby Christ in his/her hands... Jorge, will start singing silent night... and we all will follow him... we will enter the living room with candels in our hands... and my cousin will go to the portal... and helped by my aunt will let the image in between the images of Virgin Mary and Saint Joseph, we will end the song and will remain silent for a moment.. my grandmother will be thrilled with all happening... she just loved this time of the year.. we will remain silent... for a moment.. filling with all the feelings of the moment. Soon some of my uncles or my aunt.. or maybe my mom will start a prayer.. giving thanks to God for giving us the chance to be together as a family one more year.. we will give thanks for having my grandmother with us one more year, for her love... we will give thanks for the job or studies of each one of us.. probably thanks for having my uncle(the one that lives in the US) with us once again... and we will ask for those who don't have all the blessings we are used to have... we will ask for them to find a Merry Xmas after all..

After the whole ceremony, just as my grandmother will have liked it, we will start giving presents... my aunt always does that part.. she would search for a present for each one of the grandsons in order... and will continue until the tree had no more presents.. we will be happy showing our grandmother each of our gifts... and she will laugh happily seeing each one of us smile in this time of the year... then we will pray once again giving thanks for all the food.. and all the stuff that the Lord has given us.. Then we will eat the delicious food of my grandmother... and all the stuff each one of us had brought...

that was the meaning she taught me of this time of the year... being able to live it like a family.. being able to share it with the ones that we are bonded to... and of course having HIM as the center of all...

This year we will do exactly the same ritual.. the same stuff she will have wanted us to do.. we will give thanks to God for all the blessings this year.. we will give thanks cause my uncle is back at CR for this time of the year, we will give thanks because we are still together as a family, we will ask for strenght to keep that way, and we will give thanks cause my grandmother didn't suffer and she is now with my grandfather, in heaven.. looking at us having the ritual she taught us... living the meaning of this time of the year as she liked it the most.. being together... and feeling that she is still here.. with us..

≈Diego, prideful grandson of Thelma≈

A world of intentions

Every action is defined by its intentions, every word can have as much senses as you want to give it.... one word can create love based on the intentions of the speaker... but can create resentment with just a little different entonation...

We live in a world that is constantly giving value, trying to find the real intention behind of each of our actions, everybody tries to get what you are, just by trying to realice what is there, lying in between your thoughts as you do certain thing.... it doesn't matter what it is.. it might be eating, it might be getting a shower, combing your hair, playing guitar, writting in your blog... maybe someday i will get tired of ppl thinking why i do things, maybe someday... i'll start doing things just cause i think they are right... maybe i'll stop thinking what will this or that person say... what will they think of me... what would their reaction be (i know some friend out there should pay attention here...) maybe we all shall live our lives without any regrets.. just do what we think right in the moment.. and be happy with that... living for us, and just for us... selfishly... but with no intention but to please ourselves.... what will happen then? wouldn't each of us be happier? wouldn't it be cool to do those things that tempt you... and don't think of what ppl will think about you...? maybe... maybe... the whole point is to have just one intention.. to please ourselves... and end this world of intentions... and then nobody will search for the intentions behind the actions of others...

≈Me, darker than ever ≈