New me!

Time has passed... around a week and a half since i last wrote a post... however things have changed... yep! a life can make a *360º* turn and don't go back to where it used to lie...

new me: Since some months ago... something had being bothering me... i had found this cd full of music my best friend and other friend(RSM for those knowing him) had ever asked me to burn or just download, music i thought i didn't really like... Three groups were mainly in there: Sepultura, Apocalyptica, and Dream Theater... and i said: "What the h.eck! i am already getting bored of the same music every day... let's give it a shot". As i played one of Apocalyptica's cd i felt something in my inside, and i understood something... i liked this kind of music!!! what had retained me from hearing it? was it just that my parents thought it is too loud? was it just that i didn't give them a shot? what was it? As i heard a little more... i found myself better at programming as i heared this music that was supposed not to let me concentrate. However programmed assignements were a lot easier when they were given atmosphere by those chelos. I decided to give a try next to Dream Theater... it was easier since i had just three lucky mp3 of the group, however they were more than half an hour of great music, with just the same effects in my mood and my effectiveness.(thanks RSM!!) . I just then started Sepultura, ok a little bit heavier and stuff, but i liked it also... and i understood that after all i wasn't that different from my best friend... i just refused to know me better. Then, you dam.n Teufel, you Picollo, just send me one mp3 of Nightwish!!! yep, that was it!!! i had found the perfect music!!! it took me seconds to start asking for more and more.... and everything was just getting better and better... then i found one of my favorities...( maybe cause its in spanish and its easier to find the real meaning of each song...) El Mago de Oz!!!

But it wasn't just music... i remembered a day from last december... a day when i got angry at everybody and just sat down to feel miserable... that day i changed mi outfit.... just like at two o'clock... i saw i was wearing a black t-shirt and just a gray pant... however with all my anger i just didn't find it right.... and changed my pant... to my one and only black pant.... yep... and suddenly it felt right... the first time i ever did that... however i know well why i didn't do that before... my sister don't like it much... however, that day it didn't matter.... and now i thinks it matters just a little bit...

Then i met someone... in this week and a half that have passed... that made me realize... what all this mean... someone able to make me think a little more... a g.irl that challenges me to find what i really think and try to tell her that... a narcist with a great mind, a g.irl who is not afraid of what others think about her, a woman that plays with strategies, someone that believes in *360º* turns that change your life, a friend that deserves my whole respect...

I'm not saing i'm already dark or something... i just start feeling right to dress in black... i just feel right to hear loud rock music... i don't know how long will this get... i won't let somethings, that for sure... i won't let aside my religion, i believe in it just to much, i won't change my ideas... just be opened to hear those that come from others... i won't start dressing only in black (well at least for a while... most of my favorite t-shirts are non-black t-shirts... i still just have one black pant... so this could take a while... or might never happen... however i feel ok with myself... just being a little more critical... just not critizying ppl for the way they dress, or the music they use to express their feelings... just learning to be tolerant and to try to accept ppl for what their interior really is and not just cause they look like they are not going to rob me...

Just being a little bit more myself... and finding out what that really means....

≈Darth Linux≈

to b youngest s.ucks...

June 12th! that just means one thing! one SAD thing! Mr.Peanuts is already 18! and that means i'm the only E4 member without ID... yep! two months to go until i become 18 myself, and this s.ucks! everybody is now able to drink and drive legally, while i continue with my own illegality of being under age.... And even when i'm the tallest that doesn't take away the fact that they are older and that if they want to throw a party (which i hope they don't do) i will not be able to join it! and that makes me even more near of being rejected even by the only three persons who stood at my side during my whole nasty high school experience... and now i'm waiting... just waiting to be 18, and go drink with those three guys.... can't wait... can't beleive i'm the youngest! can't beleive it...

≈17 years old me≈

Life's good when you play Starcraft!

Hey! couldn't believe when i was heading yesterday for college (just had to hand in some jobs), as i got there, i found some friends, hey! it was nice to be over there, just doing exactly what we weren't supposed to do.... GETTING DISTRACTED!, yep big programmed assignement for next friday... we r all a little behind, but we found ourselves watching a movie... and then... we went to the house of other friend.... andwe were 5, we had a 24 port hub.... and 5 pc's.... and the temptation was to much.... we made a net.... and YEP! Starcraft play!!! wow! and who minds if i got my a.ss kicked off? it was just amazing.... too much fun.... two hours went in that.... we had so much fun.... and is definitevely a general truth.... no matter how much work you have to do... if you find a great game and some other friends to playwith.... life's good....

≈i≈